TOM

 

I met Tom in the summer of 1983. Jeana and I had just started attending Faithway Baptist Church in North Long Beach, California and Tom was one of many 20-somethings who fellowshipped there.

I can’t say that Tom and I became ‘besties’ right away. My first real friend at Faithway was Steve Shanahan. One of the first conversations I had with Steve, I mentioned something about our impending move from a duplex in Bellflower to Jeana’s childhood home in Lakewood. Without missing a beat, Steve volunteered… no… INSISTED on helping us move.

I remembered thinking, “Is this guy nuts? Who volunteers to help someone move that they don’t really know?” But that selfless gesture cemented my relationship to Steve and our friendship has endured all of these years.

 

The reason I bring up Steve in my story about Tom is because those two seemed to be a package deal when I met them. If you hung out with one, you hung out with the other. And so it didn’t take long for my friendship with Tom to blossom.

 

The very first thing I noticed about Tom was his quick wit and his wicked sense of humor. Not a “dad joke” type of humor but a top shelf, highly comedic sense of humor. No matter how clever I thought I was with a jab or a barb, Tom would destroy it with a classic one liner. It was truly a gift that I admired and enjoyed for more than 40 years.

 

We formed a men’s softball team at Faithway and Tom was our catcher. He wasn’t the greatest athlete but he played an intricate role to the chemistry of our championship team. He kept us loose and provided a much needed laugh in some tense moments of competition.

 

A few of us young couples from the church took a trip to Magic Mountain, a theme park in Valencia, California. After sitting in a frustrating traffic jam for what seemed like hours, a typical Southern California experience, we were ready to cut loose and have a good time. And we did. The BEST time ever! I mean… we shed any remnant of decorum or dignity and let our inner child run free.

 

Steve grabbed the microphone at the bumper cars and started hollering at the drivers as though he were a crazy man. I was doing a Stevie Wonder impression with my Dodger helmet on backwards, as onlookers stared in disbelief. Somebody asked a total stranger if he could have a swig of their pop… which the stranger mysteriously obliged. Just crazy stuff… all day and all night long. It was a day of nonstop laughing… deep, belly laughing.

 

Tom and I would reminisce about that Magic Mountain trip virtually every time we talked over the years and the laughter would return, full force, as we recalled our crazy antics.

 

During this time, I ran a church softball league, the Christian Fellowship Athletic League (CFAL). As awards for the championship teams, I would have custom, silk-screened shirts made up. Stemming from that… Tom and I decided to explore the starting of a business. We both took a silk-screening class at the local adult education center and learned the process.

 

Tom charged $500 on his credit card to launch our initial run of shirts. We called our little business venture, “Bear Witness,” and Tom had a friend draw up some clever designs… such as “The Red Sea Surf Club.” We sold some shirts to a Christian School and some to a Christian book store before our energy to continue ran out of gas.

 

Tom and his wife, Jeanne, would leave Faithway a couple years after we met but our bond and friendship remained. We would get together as often as we could. One of the highlights was when our friend group would head south to San Diego for a long weekend. Those trips were always a hoot!

 

The last trip we ever took to San Diego was in 1992. Southern California was embroiled in turmoil and rioting after the verdict in the Rodney King trial. The violence started in downtown Los Angeles but quickly spread into the LA County suburbs. It was getting too close for comfort.

 

I called Tom and suggested that he round up his family and head down to the San Diego area with us for a few days, until the tensions eased. While LA burned, the Eynon's and The Munson's hid out and prayed for a peaceful resolution.

 

Largely influenced by the ‘Rodney King Riots,’ I moved my family to Iowa, the state of my birth, in December of 1993. The slower pace and the sense of calm and safety in the Midwest was just what the doctor ordered for us. Tom and I stayed in contact through the years we were in Iowa and he seemed intrigued by our affection for our new home.

 

I don’t remember the exact year but it was around 1996 or 1997 that Tom and Jeanne came to Iowa for a visit. Tom instantly loved the vibe and we spent hours talking about what it would be like if the Eynon's made the move and joined us. We even drove around the town, looking at houses for sale. Tom was amazed at the affordability of homes in comparison to California.

 

In 2008, we moved from Iowa to Ohio. Tom and family came for a visit in 2011. We had a great time. We went to a Cleveland Indian baseball game, we visited Amish Country and then on a whim, we hopped in my car and drove 8 hours to Moline, Illinois to attend the wedding of Steve’s oldest son, Tim. Needless to say, the Shanahan’s were shocked upon our arrival.

 

I mentioned how ‘humor’ was one of the most captivating elements of Tom’s personality. Right up there with that was selflessness and service. How many friends and neighbors did Tom assist with tree trimming and gardener tips? He would sacrifice his own time and energy to be of service to others.

 

Allow me to illustrate. In 2014, we took a summer trip to California. One of the things that my son, Bryce, wanted to do was have a bonfire at the beach one night. I asked Tom for some advice as to how, when and where we might accomplish this. He said the fire pits at Bolsa Chica Beach get gobbled up very quickly in the summertime and that there was very little chance that we could grab one at the time that we wanted to arrive. I said we’d take our chances and invited Tom to meet us there at around 5PM.

 

When we arrived, there was Tom, sitting at a fire pit. There were no other ones available. I asked Tom how he was able to nab one and he said, “By arriving at 8 in the morning.” Tom had been sitting at that fire pit for 9 hours! 9 Hours! For us. That was my buddy, Tom.

 

Even though we lived halfway across the country from each other from 1993 until present… Tom would never let too much time pass without face-timing me. It was like clockwork and we would chat and laugh for at least an hour every time.

 

In 2019, I was given a surprise gift from my family. They bought me a plane ticket to Phoenix, Arizona to attend some Major League Baseball spring training games for a week. They paid for a week’s rental at an Airbnb. But the best part was that they had secretly collaborated with Tom and Steve to join me there.

 

This was one of the best gifts ever as I was able to reunite with my two best friends. That trip seemed to rekindle my love for these two humans. We spent that week with both laughter and tears. Tom and I would repeat that reunion the next year in Phoenix.

 

For May of 2022, we made some big plans. Tom, Steve and our spouses planned to spend a week together in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. The 3 bedroom condo right on the beach had been reserved and we all were counting the days until we would meet again.

 

A few weeks before our vacation, Steve called with the news that they’d have to back out. We were certainly disappointed but Tom and I planned to move forward with the two couples, instead of all three. But then… Tom called with the news that he and Jeanne wouldn’t be coming. Tom had been dealing with some pain and the initial suspicion from his medical team was that it was most likely cancer. And as we all know… that was the correct diagnosis and he was already at stage 4.

 

The next two years of our friendship were both trying and precious. Trying… in that we knew this disease would eventually take him out but precious because of the meaningful time we were able to spend together.

 

In December of 2022, Jeana’s father passed away and we flew to California that same week and then again in February of 2023 to sort through his affairs. We stayed with Tom and Jeanne at the “Menifee Mansion” (Tom’s nickname for their beautiful home) for those two weeks. What a precious time! We awoke every morning and sat in their “prayer room,” sipping coffee, listening to gospel music and having the deepest of conversations.

 

Jeana’s dad had a piece of property near Tom’s house with seven, 40 foot cargo containers. One of the many orders of business we attended to was to sort through all of the junk and treasures we found in them. Tom, who had recently completed chemotherapy, was there every single day, helping to muddle through the ‘stuff.’ I urged him to sit and rest… which he did from time to time… but for the most part, he wouldn’t hear of it. I was amazed at his heart and his servant spirit.

 

In the fall of 2023, Tom and Jeanne flew to Ohio and spent a couple weeks with us. Again… the time we spent together, especially under the circumstances, was wonderful. We rented an Airbnb in Kentucky and spent a couple days visiting The Ark Encounter and The Creation Museum. The cancer had taken a toll on Tom’s body but he wasn’t about to let it slow him down.

 

This was the last time I would see Tom alive. We talked on the phone and exchanged texts until just a few days before his passing. When I found out Tom had gone under the care of hospice, my heart broke and I posted a request on Facebook that my friends pray for him. In typical Tom fashion, he jumps on the thread with, “I hear he’s a great guy!.” Yep… a “great guy” indeed.

 

This past Sunday, while sitting in church, we received the text from Jeanne that Tom was "in the arms of Jesus." Even when you know it is coming, you can never seem quite emotionally prepared when it happens. I left the church service. I didn’t feel like talking to anyone.

 

There are four levels of friendship. 1) Acquaintance 2) Casual 3) Close 4) Intimate.

 

That level 4 friendship is deep and involved. It is a relationship unlike any other. When you have an intimate friendship, both parties are totally invested in the character, the growth and well-being of the other. In this friendship, you are given the permission to be 100% truthful with your friend… even when your observations are critical. They say most people have very few, if any, "intimate" friends in a lifetime. I had an intimate friendship with Tom Eynon and I will love and cherish his memory forever.

Tom was a husband, a father, a grandpa and he was my friend.

Psalms 116:15

 

Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his faithful servants.